Parashat Vayechi

Dedicated Leilui Nishmat Nathan Marcus A”H Natan Ben Rachel

By The Marcus Family

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Parashat Vayechi

May You Be Like Ephraim and Menashe

This week’s parasha begins with the passuk, “Vayechi Yaakov be’eretz Mitzrayim sheva esre shana — Yaakov lived in the land of Egypt for seventeen years.” The gematria of the word vayechi is thirty-four, which represents the first seventeen years that Yosef lived with his father Yaakov, and the last seventeen years when they were reunited again in Egypt. Our Rabbis teach us that those were the years that Yaakov considered his best years, and the years when he really lived!

Later in the parasha it says that Yaakov became ill, and Yosef brought his two sons Ephraim and Menashe to his father to bless them. It is the practice in every Jewish home on Friday nights to bless our sons, “Yesimcha Elokim ke’Ephraim v’keMenashe — Hashem should bless them as Ephraim and Menashe.” Why are Ephraim and Menashe a vehicle for blessing our sons until today?

The answer is that Yaakov saw how Yosef’s two sons exemplified a fundamental principle of the Torah. There was no competition between them, and neither considered himself greater than his brother. There was no sibling rivalry of the kind we have witnessed throughout history between brothers: first with Kayin and Hevel, then Yitzchak and Yishmael, and finally with Yaakov and Esav. We, therefore, bless our sons that they emulate Ephraim and Menashe.

Another reason that we bless our sons to be like Ephraim and Menashe is that they were able to survive and stay true to Torah values despite growing up in Egypt’s decadent society. This is something that we are living through during galut today, and which we must also overcome until the arrival of the Mashiach!

Focus on Their Strengths

In passuk 14, as Yaakov blesses Ephraim and Menashe, the Torah says that Yaakov “Sikel et yadav — he maneuvered his hands.” Yaakov crossed his hands so that his right hand ended up on Ephraim, who was on his left side, and his left hand ended up on Menashe, who was on his right side.

Why did Yaakov switch his hands when he blessed them? Wouldn’t that be a sign that Yaakov was favoring one brother over the other, as he seemed to have done when he gave the ketonet passim to Yosef and not to his other sons? Rashi comments that Yaakov knew that Ephraim needed that extra beracha, because he saw through ruah hakodesh that his descendant Yehoshua would be the one to apportion the land and teach the Torah that he had learned from Moshe Rabenu to B’nei Yisrael.

Yaakov knew that all his children were different one from one another, just as our own children are different and must be raised in their own way. As Shlomo Hamelech writes in Mishle, “Hanoch la’naar al pi darko — Raise your child according to his way!” Every parent today should know and understand this rule when raising their children. A modern saying that’s derived from this principle is that “Education is not one size fits all.” It is important to act in accordance with the needs of each child. For example, if one child needs extra tutoring, you would hire a tutor, whereas the other child may not need the extra help.

Rabbi Ephraim Shapiro further explains that the right side of a person represents his strengths and wonderful qualities. The left side of a person represents his weaknesses, the areas in which he needs to improve. He teaches that when we face a person and stretch out our arms without switching them, we are placing our right arm (the stronger arm) on the other person’s left side. This indicates that we are accentuating their left side, reminding them of their faults and deficiencies. When we point our left arm (the weak arm) at their right side, we are symbolically neglecting to acknowledge their positive attributes.

Yaakov teaches us to “switch hands.” When we face a person, we should figuratively let our right arm extend to the person’s right side, emphasizing that person’s finer traits. We can give them a meaningful compliment, remind them of how much they mean to us and what an integral role they play in our lives. Our left, weaker arm will extend to their left side, indicating that although everyone has their deficiencies, we will not accentuate their shortcomings. In order to be successful in our interpersonal relationships, we must follow this form of focusing on the positive rather than the negative.

Charlie Harary told a very personal story about a teacher from his childhood who saw and highlighted his strengths. Throughout his high school experience, Charlie was no stranger to the principal’s office. The principal, Rabbi Eliach, called Charlie’s mother so often that he had her on his speed dial right under his own mother’s number! Any time he would be called to the principal, his mother would rush to defend her son, no matter what the offense.

Although he was frequently getting in trouble, Charlie Harary knew deep down that he was a good kid who had a problem sitting still. It was not until 11th grade that he began to doubt himself. Every year, the school would post the seminar list, a list of kids that would be in charge of welcoming the incoming Freshmen. Charlie knew he was a good kid, and that his name would be on the list. His eyes scanned the alphabetical list down to H, “Hmm… No Harary, maybe I missed it.” He read the list A to Z. His name was not there.

Charlie was devastated, “Maybe I’m a bad kid after all,” he thought. His self-confidence took a huge hit, and he went home from school early. When he got home, his mother’s phone rang. It was Rabbi Eliach. Charlie’s mother rushed to his defense and said her usual spiel, “He didn’t do it, it wasn’t his fault…” But it was Rabbi David Eliach on the phone, the principal’s son, who was Charlie’s teacher in 9th grade. He wanted to speak to Charlie. He said, “I noticed your name was missing from the seminar board. That’s too bad, you should’ve been on it. You’re a great kid.”

A 30-second phone conversation changed the trajectory of Charlie Harary’s life. All it took was one teacher telling him he saw him, saw his strength, saw that he was good, and it helped influence his entire path.

Humility Protects Against the Evil Eye

Rabbi Frand explains that when Yaakov gave his beracha to Ephraim and Menashe he said, “V’yidgu l’rov—May they reproduce abundantly like fish within the land (48:16),” which sounds like a strange expression. Rashi clarifies, “And may they reproduce like these fish that proliferate and become numerous and the evil eye has no effect on them.”

Why are fish not harmed by the ayin hara—evil eye? The Gemara says, “Just as fish are covered by the sea, out of sight, and the Evil Eye cannot rule over them, so too the Evil Eye will not be able to rule over Yosef’s descendants (20a:55b).” Adam never gave names to the fish “because they are hidden from the eyes of man.” The Torah mentions that Hashem brought all the animals to Adam and he gave them names. The Torah mentions the names of various animals – both kosher and non-kosher animals – in various contexts in the Torah. We even know the names of various reptiles and insects. However, the names of species of fish are not mentioned anywhere in the Torah. There are many different kinds of fish. There are thousands of species of fish in the world. Nonetheless, the Torah does not specify any names!

Fish are anonymous. Ayin hara only affects people and things that stand out. If a person has the ability to stay out of the public eye and not stick himself into everyone’s face, it is a segulah for avoiding the evil eye. Anonymity does not necessarily mean that a person is nameless, but if a person is humble, he too has protection. The gematria—numerical value of ayin is 120; that of anavah—humility is 121. Thus, the Chidah says that one with anavah “is above” the evil eye!

Our Shepherd

The following idea in a write up of a mussar talk once given by Rav Matisyahu Solomon. In the blessing that Yaakov Avinu gives to Yosef he refers to Hashem as “…G-d before Whom my forefathers Avraham and Yitzchak walked… G-d Who shepherds me from my inception until this day…” (Bereishit 49:15). The Medrash Yalkut Shimoni on Tehillim says that when Yaakov referred to the Almighty as a Shepherd (Ro-eh), this was a revolutionary expression. It had never happened before.

Rav Chama bar Chanina states: “There is no more disgusting profession (Umnus bezuyah) than that of a shepherd”. The Medrash says that it is an insult to call the Ribono shel Olam a shepherd. Today we think, “What is the worst job a person can have?” Perhaps it is that of a sanitation worker. However, in the days of Chazal, a shepherd was the lowest of the low, in terms of ways to make a living. A shepherd must be in the heat of the sun with smelly animals. He is alone. It is cold in the winter and hot in the summer. It is a disgusting profession.

Yet Dovid HaMelech also called the Almighty a Shepherd. As we all know, “A Psalm of David, The L-rd is my Shepherd, I shall not want.” (Tehillim 23:1). The question then becomes, why is Yaakov Avinu suddenly the first person to call Hashem a “Ro-eh” and why specifically now does he introduce this new depiction of the Master of the Universe?

The answer is that in Parshat Vayechi, Yaakov Avinu had an epiphany of sorts — a revelation. In Parashat Vayigash, Yaakov Avinu described his life as “…few and bad have been the days of the years of my life…” (Bereishit 47:9). Chazal in fact tell us that he was punished for this.

However, that was in Parshat Vayigash. In Parshat Vayechi, Yaakov Avinu had a revelation that as Rav Chaim Volozhin explains, calls attention to this entire idea. The revelation was that I see now, looking back on my life, that everything that happened to me represented Hashem watching over me and manipulating things and maneuvering things. It all turned out for the best. Such as when a shepherd suddenly decides to move the sheep from one pasture to the other, and the sheep do not understand “Where is this shepherd bringing us? What’s wrong with over here?” The sheep do not know that there is a wolf lurking over there in the first pasture. When the sheep are by a beautiful pond and are drinking sweet water and suddenly the shepherd says “Okay, we need to go!” and he takes them to a place where there is no pond and they cannot drink – the sheep are all thinking, “Why is he doing this?”

The sheep, who have no intelligence, do not understand. But the shepherd, if he is a good shepherd, faithfully takes care of his sheep. They are his “flock”. He takes care of them, he loves them, and he empathizes with them. This is what Yaakov Avinu realized now. G-d has been my Shepherd. Yaakov did have a difficult life, but he now realized that the whole thing – Eisav, Lavan, Dina, the sale of Yosef, and everything else – now that he sees he is in Egypt and he sees why it all happened.

It is therefore appropriate that when Yaakov Avinu gives the blessing to Yosef, he is inspired to call the Almighty a Shepherd. If there is one person of all the personalities of the Torah that had this attribute of being a “Ro-eh,” of epitomizing empathy in his life, it is in fact Yosef HaTzadik.

The first time the Torah describes Yosef, it describes him as follows: “Yosef, at the age of seventeen years was a shepherd…” (Bereishit 37:2). If we look at his life, it is the life of a “Ro-eh,” a person that cares about somebody else, that empathizes and has someone else’s best interest at heart. When Yosef brings a “report” about his brothers to his father, it is not because he was jealous or wishing to tattle. He felt his brothers were doing something wrong and they had to be corrected. It would be much easier to have remained quiet and said, “I’m not going to be the snitch.” However, he does it anyway because he was a “Ro-eh.”

When Yosef is stuck in a dungeon in Egypt a bunch of lowlifes surrounded the righteous Yosef. What does he say to his dungeon mates when he sees they are aggrieved? “Why are your faces downcast today?” (Bereishit 40:7). He could have kept to himself. He did not need to socialize with criminals and lowlifes! But by his nature he was a “Ro-eh” – he was an empathizer.

Furthermore, the Gemara learns (Taanis 11a) that marital relations with one’s wife is forbidden during a time of famine. We learn this from Yosef because the Torah says that his two sons were born “before the years of famine” (Bereishit 41:50). Chazal derived that Yosef abstained from relations with his wife during the entire duration of the famine. Although Yosef was not personally suffering, others were and he had empathy for the suffering of others. “When other people are starving, I do not want to enjoy myself.” This is the attribute of being a “Ro-eh.”

This is why the Almighty picked Yosef to feed the world. “…He is the provider to all the people of the land…” (Bereishit 42:6). He kept the world alive. This is why when Yaakov gives a blessing to Yosef, he invokes the name “Ro-eh,” because that is what Yosef is. Just as G-d is a “Ro-eh,” so too Yosef is a “Ro-eh.”

We have a Biblical command to try to emulate any attribute that the Almighty demonstrates to us. “And you shall walk in His ways.” (Devarim 28:9). The Almighty is an empathizer who cares about others, so too, we need to do the same. This is something that every one of us must work on: Think about somebody else. Human beings are by their very nature wrapped up in themselves. They are self-focused. It is man’s spiritual challenge to think about others. When you meet someone, do not just tell him where you are holding and what you are doing. Ask him about himself, his family, where is he holding and what is he doing. Think about the other person!

May we have the insight to raise our children with true Torah values and good middot, and to guide them and teach them according to their own strengths. May we also come to understand that Hashem is guiding our path in life, and may we emulate His ways and look out for the needs of all of Klal Yisrael! Amen!

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Amram Sananes, written by Jack Rahmey

This book is a compilation of Divre Torah from the weekly parasha classes from Rabbi Sananes’ teachings over the last 10 years along with my own experiences in those classes which has stimulated my Torah growth. I’ve included many pertinent stories and life lessons to grow from at your Shabbat table. There’s also questions and discussion points at the end of each Parasha to stimulate a Torah conversation at your Shabbat table for the whole family to participate in. Also, included is a holidays section at the end of the book to use for all of our special holidays and Yomiim Toviim.



Now available in all Jewish bookstores and Amazon!

I and Rabbi Sananes look forward to hearing your feedback.

Sincerely, Jack E. Rahmey and Rabbi Amram Sananes

jrahmey@rahmeyfinancial.com (917-226-6276) and AmramSanases@me.com

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Le’ilui Nishmat…

Eliyahu Ben Rachel

Rabbi Shimon Chay Ben Yaasher

Avraham Ben Garaz

Sarah Bat Chanah

Esther Bat Sarah

Avraham Ben Mazal

Shulamit Bat Helaina

Rabbi Meyer Ben Chana

Rahamim Ben Mazal

Batsheva Bat Sarah Esther

Rafael Ben Miriam

Ovadia Ben Esther

Rav Haim Ben Rivka

Moshe Ben Mazal

Moshe Ben Yael

Yitzchak Ben Adele

Avraham Ben Mazal

Meir Ben Latifa

Chanah Bat Esther

Yaakov Ben Rachel

Malka Bat Garaz

Moshe Ben Garaz

Avraham Ben Kami

Yaakov Ben Leah

Mordechai Ben Rachel

Chacham Shaul Rachamim Ben Mazal

Natan Ben Rachel

Saadia Ben Miriam

Eliyah Ben Latifa Simhon

Margalit Bat Mazal

Ovadia Haim Ben Malaky

Rabbi Aharon Chaim Ben Ruchama

Luratte Bat Masouda

Esther Bat Menucha

Uri Ben Rahel

Rivka Bat Dona

Shalom Ben Zahra

Rachel Bat Sarah

Shalom Ben Zahra

Chava Yvette Bat Jamile

Refuah Shelemah…

Rachel Bat Devorah

Anyone interested in dedicating this Divre Torah Le'ilui Nishmat or Refuah Shelemah or In Honor of someone, can email me at

jrahmey@rahmeyfinancial.com. Checks can be made out to “A Life of Torah” for $101 and mailed to 2387 Ocean Ave Suite 1G, Brooklyn, NY 11229 (please put in the memo “Divre Torah”). Anyone interested in past parshiot please go to the website ParashaPerspective.org