Shabbat Yom Kippur

Dedicated Leilui Nishmat Ezra Ernest ben Rachel A'h

by his sons, Albert & Joey Mosseri

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Shabbat Yom Kippur

Small Changes

Yom Kippur is quickly approaching. Rabbi Akiva says in the Mishnah Yoma, “Praiseworthy are you Israel, before whom do you cleanse yourselves?... Your father in Heaven! … And I will sprinkle pure water upon you, and you shall be cleansed… Just as a Mikveh purifies the contaminated, so does Hashem purify Israel (8:9).” Rabbi Akiva is saying that just as one may submerge his whole body in a Mikveh to be purified, it is also beneficial to be sprinkled with the pure water. This means that if we take it upon ourselves to make small changes each year, it will tremendously impact our growth throughout our lifetime. Small, subtle changes will lead to big ones.

For instance, we may not be able to commit to never speaking lashon hara again, but we may be able to stop ourselves at certain hours of the day or make other pledges for slow growth.

There is a true story about the Cohen family who recently had a very strange problem. One day, out of nowhere, a bird began to peck continuously at his window. As days and weeks went on, the bird came every morning and relentlessly pecked at the window. The family tried many ways to drive it away, both physically and spiritually, and still, the bird returned every morning.

The father, Rabbi Aaron Cohen, understood that this was some sort of message from Hashem, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. After weeks with no solution in sight, he went to the Kotel to pray and beg Hashem to show him what to do to solve the problem.

While he was praying and saying Tehillim, he suddenly remembered a Targum Yonatan from Parashat Metzora. The Torah describes the purification process of the metzora—a person afflicted with leprosy after speaking lashon hara. The metzora brings two birds to the Kohen. One is slaughtered, and the other is set free. On this passuk, the Targum Yonatan comments that if the metzora speaks lashon hara again, the bird that was set free will come to his house as a reminder to do teshuva.

Rabbi Cohen remembered something else. His family had a routine to learn two halachot of lashon hara every day, but that had gone to the wayside because one of the daughters had recently gotten married, and with all the preparations and commotion before the wedding, they had neglected to learn the daily halachot. The wedding had passed a month earlier, and they never restarted their nightly ritual.

He rushed home, convinced this was the answer, and the family immediately resumed their previous custom to learn two halachot of lashon hara every day. The day they started again, the bird came to the window, but it just sat there and watched without pecking. After that, it left and never returned.

The laws of lashon hara are very intricate, but if we just start by reviewing the halachot, it can make a tremendous impact on our daily lives. Whether deciding to review the halachot of LH or to wear a kippah just at work as a start, small changes can be just as purifying as any big ones and likely even more successful. Rav Shach, a gadol hador, once publicly committed to saying birkat hamazon from a siddur instead of by heart. We all have ways to improve ourselves; we have to think, and we’ll find them.

Will Dad Want Me?

Every day in the Amidah, we recite a blessing about teshuvah. The prayer ends with “Hashem Harotzeh b’teshuvah—Hashem desires repentance.” We repeat these words so often during the year that they may lose their impact. These words do not mean that the Almighty will just accept our repentance but that He wants our repentance. His desire for us to return to Him is so enormous that as long as we make even a minimal effort, He will be waiting there to take us back.

Rabbi Frand told a story about a boy who finished high school and told his parents he wanted to see the world, which is quite typical of youth. His father told him, “No, I want you to start college.” The boy would not accept his father’s advice. “I need to see what the rest of the world is like. I want to travel.” The father told his son, “If you leave, don’t bother coming back. You can start college now or leave this house and keep going because you will never be welcome again.” The boy decided to leave anyway.

He left his home in Maryland and began hitchhiking across America. He did odd jobs here and there to keep himself going. After some time, the boy became homesick. He missed his parents. He missed home. He started hitchhiking back to the east coast. He got as far as Iowa, sat down on a curb, and wrote a letter home. “Dear Mom, I’m tired. I’m hungry. I’m lonely. I want to come home. But I don’t know if Dad will let me home. Mom, the train passes an apple tree near the tracks by our house. If Dad lets me come back, please tie a white cloth around a branch of that tree. I’ll get on the train, look for the apple tree, and check. If Dad still feels the same way and there’s no white cloth, I’ll know I can’t come home.”

The boy boarded a passenger train and started heading home. As the train approached the tree, he became terribly nervous. Would there be a cloth there? As it came closer and closer, he turned to the man sitting next to him on the train and said, “Please do me a favor. We’re going to pass a farm with an apple tree right near the tracks. I am going to close my eyes. Please tell me if white fabric is wrapped around a branch on that tree. I’m too nervous to look myself.” He was so scared that it wouldn’t be there. He sat with his eyes tightly shut as the train passed the tree. The man said, “Son, there is a white cloth around every branch on that tree.” The father clearly could not wait for his son to come home.

This is what “Hashem desires repentance” means. Hashem wants us back passionately, just like any father who may have had disagreements with his son, if not more.

Teshuvah

The wonderful Holiday of Yom Kippur is approaching. Hashem, who created us and knows what makes us tick the way a watchmaker knows the intricacies of a watch, knows that as human beings, we are fallible and will sin. Still, Hashem gave us the incredible gift of Yom Kippur and teshuvah—repentance in His great mercy. We must take advantage of this gift and pray for Hashem to forgive us, wipe our slate clean from last year’s sins, and grant us another year of life.

It does not matter how distant one may be. This is the day to put all grudges aside. As Charlie Harary once explained, Yom Kippur is a day to be alone with your Dad in Heaven. It is a day He clears out the things that separate you from Him—food, comfort, routine, failures, insecurities, and grudges. He strips us down to the real us, the soul underneath all the clutter. One day a year, G-d says, “Come home. Be with Me for a day. Talk to Me for real.”

In his book Yom Kippur: Atonement and Opportunity, Rabbi Yaakov Hillel says we should be using the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, when Hashem is near, to evaluate where we fall short and try to do better, be better. He suggests looking in the machzor at the Viduy Gadol, taking notes, and truly understanding where we should be holding spiritually, and what we need to fix in order to be inscribed in the Sefer Chaim.

Ben Adam LeMakom

Rabbi David Ashear told a story in Living Emunah 2 about Rav Saadia Gaon, who would make a point to seclude himself in a private room for 20 minutes daily. One day, a student, overcome with curiosity, went into his Rabbi’s private space and hid in a closet. The Rabbi came in and proceeded to lower himself to the floor, crying, “Chatati, aviti, pashati lefanecha – I have sinned before You….” The student could not understand why this great Rabbi could possibly cry for forgiveness and do such an intense teshuvah daily.

The student approached his rabbi and confessed to having watched him. “Why do you beg Hashem for forgiveness every day in such an intense fashion?” He asked.

Rav Saadia explained that once on his travels, he stopped at the home of a very kindhearted Jew. The host was generous and hospitable, offering the Rabbi meals and a room. When morning came, Rav Saadia warmly thanked him and went on his way.

Suddenly, a few minutes later, Rav Saadia saw his host running after him, throwing himself on the floor and begging the Rav for forgiveness. The Rabbi inquired, asking why he was so upset when the host provided such generous hospitality. The host cried, “I did not know you were the Great Rav Saadia Gaon. I would have shown you so much more respect and honor.”

The Rabbi explained to his student, “Each day, I find out something new about the greatness of Hashem, and I become filled with guilt. I would have served Hashem with much more respect and care if I had known. So, each day, I have to beg Hashem for forgiveness, for not treating Him properly the day before.”

Let It Go

It says in Masechet Rosh Hashanah, “Kol hamaveir al medotav, maavereyn lo kol pashav – Anyone who relinquishes his measures of retribution (tolerantly drops a disputed matter – Rashi), the Heavenly courts will relinquish all his sins for him (17a).” In other words, “If one doesn't judge others and can walk away, Hashem will also judge him favorably!”

The very fact that the chance to do teshuvah was gifted to us by Hashem teaches us to take advantage of that opportunity. There's a story in Gemarah Yoma that illustrates this point. When Rav Zeira had grounds for a grievance against someone, he would repeatedly pass by the wrongdoer, making himself available to him to appease him and ask for forgiveness.

Once, Rav Zeira was offended by a particular butcher, and the butcher had not yet come by to ask forgiveness. So on the day before Yom Kippur, the Rabbi went to the butcher to make himself noticed to catalyze a reconciliation. When the butcher saw him, he said, “Go away; I have nothing to discuss with you!” as he broke the bones of an animal’s head. A cracked bone hit him in the throat, and the butcher died on the spot! The story teaches that when you have the chance to make peace with a friend, take advantage of the opportunity! The butcher had to face Hashem with that unresolved dispute ben adam lechavero – between man and his friend.

Over the next few days, please take this opportunity. Don’t wait until the last minute. Pick up the phone and make the call to a family member, a neighbor, or an old friend who might have been hurt by something you said or did. I guarantee you will feel it is the right thing to do. It will also help bring out all the blessings Hashem has in store for you this coming year.

May we never hesitate to knock on Hashem’s door, pray, and connect to our Creator. May we always remember our humble beginnings like Yehoshua, no matter how far we advance in life. May we all realize the amazing gift of Yom Kippur that Hashem gave us. May we all realize deep in our hearts that Hashem is our King and the ultimate judge, but He is also our Father in Heaven who will always be there for us no matter how desperate we think our situation may be. There is no predicament from which Hashem can't save us. There’s no financial or health issue He can’t conquer; all we have to do is pray and shed tears that will break through the Heavens, and Hashem will surely answer by inscribing us in the Book of Life, Success, and Good Health! Amen!

Shabbat Shalom!

Tizku Leshanim Rabot!

Rabbi Amram Sananes, written by Jack Rahmey

Discussion Point:

Do we take advantage of Hashem’s open-door policy throughout the year, or just on Yom Kippur?

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Le’ilui Nishmat…

Eliyahu Ben Rachel

Rabbi Shimon Chay Ben Yaasher

Avraham Ben Garaz

Sarah Bat Chanah

Esther Bat Sarah

Avraham Ben Mazal

Shulamit Bat Helaina

Rabbi Meyer Ben Chana

Rahamim Ben Mazal

Batsheva Bat Sarah Esther

Rafael Ben Miriam

Ovadia Ben Esther

Rav Haim Ben Rivka

Moshe Ben Mazal

Moshe Ben Yael

Yitzchak Ben Adele

Avraham Ben Mazal

Meir Ben Latifa

Chanah Bat Esther

Yaakov Ben Rachel

Malka Bat Garaz

Moshe Ben Garaz

Avraham Ben Kami

Yaakov Ben Leah

Mordechai Ben Rachel

Chacham Shaul Rachamim Ben Mazal

Natan Ben Rachel

Saadia Ben Miriam

Eliyah Ben Latifa Simhon

Margalit Bat Mazal

Ovadia Haim Ben Malaky

Rabbi Aharon Chaim Ben Ruchama

Luratte Bat Masouda

Esther Bat Menucha

Uri Ben Rahel

Rivka Bat Dona

Shalom Ben Zahra

Rachel Bat Sarah

Shalom Ben Zahra

Chava Yvette Bat Jamile

Refuah Shelemah…

Rachel Bat Devorah

Anyone interested in dedicating this Divre Torah Le'ilui Nishmat or Refuah Shelemah or In Honor of someone, can email me at

jrahmey@rahmeyfinancial.com. Checks can be made out to “A Life of Torah” for $101 and mailed to 2387 Ocean Ave Suite 1G, Brooklyn, NY 11229 (please put in the memo “Divre Torah”). Anyone interested in past parshiot please go to the website ParashaPerspective.org